When did I know I had the power to be happy?

Joy Maines, Personal Trainer

When did I know I had the power to be happy?

It might seem obvious to some, but it wasn’t until my mid 20’s that I realized I had the power to be happy. I was going through some rough times, I had just left my husband of almost 8 years and divorce was imminent. It’s been over a year since I walked out of our house, and getting ‘here’ hasn’t been easy. Turns out, I was married to someone who I shouldn’t even have been friends with. We got married young and it seemed like his purpose in life was to control, manipulate, abuse, and make me as miserable as he could.  But It wasn’t until after I left, that I realized I was the one letting him treat me that way.

Many people wonder why I say that, and why I stayed as long as I did. I used to wonder that too. But in my self reflection, or soul searching if you will, I’ve realized that although some want to look at it as ‘time wasted,’ its given me an entirely new outlook on life, & how I live it. For that, I’m extremely thankful. I refuse to see it as time wasted because now I wake up everyday and realize that I’m the ONLY person that dictates if I’m going to be happy. I know everyone has heard that idea/concept before, because I had many times, but until you experience it, it doesn’t really “click.” You never realize just how true that concept is.

When I wake up in the morning, I make the decision that I am going to be happy. Yes, circumstances might happen with work, family, friends, etc, that are upsetting, but how I decide to deal with them is my decision. I look at life now in a completely different light. You cant go through life letting it dictate your outlook. Sometimes things happen that will get you down, but whether you stay down is all up to you. Only you.

Life isn’t always ideal, financially, emotionally, romantically, etc. Separating was a definite struggle, on many different levels. But the simple truth, is that life will never be perfect, it will never be exactly what you want. The trick is to stop fighting, accept that, and learn to work it to your advantage. Go with the flow, teach yourself to be genuinely happy. Make the decision to learn and grow from every experience. You have the power to be happy, make sure you use it! Refuse to give it to anyone, or anything else. The decision is yours.